Dear December 19th,

Dear Parents of Britney and Jamie-Lynn Spears,
You might want to rethink your parenting techniques. First Brittney, now Jamie-Lynn's pregnancy at 16... something about small-town Louisiana values seems a little Trailer Park Trash to me - but hey what do I know, I'm an unpregnant, college grad with a good job from the suburbs of New York City.

Dear Tomorrow,
I'm not as excited for you as I think I should be. Another day, another year.

Dear Water Heater,
Your name is a malapropism, as I've taken 2 glacially cold showers this week.

Dear Microsoft Outlook Meeting Scheduler,
I'd like to submit a formal request to ban all multiple meeting rescheduling offenders from your use. I think it undermines the integrity of your function. Think about it, and let me know what time my meetings REALLY are.

Dear JetBlue,
Since we all know you're waiting for Congress to lift the intra-US-city flight ban on international carriers so you can sell out to Lufthansa- do me a favor and spend some of those dollars buying better time slots at airports so I don't have to take the red-eye to New York - it's a real _____.

Dear Joy in Every Day Life,
I'm having trouble finding you.
I used to see in the intricate way the smoke swirls up from my Anthro candles, or a favorite song from the mid-90s playing on my XM, or staying enveloped in my pillow top mattress and down comforter for a few extra minutes.
Anyway- I'm looking forward to seeing you again...