2 minutes

lately, stella has taken to the phrase "two minutes."
as in "i'll be ready in two minutes." "i'll do that in two minutes." "i'll be finished here in two minutes." to let all of us know she's not quite done.

nap time? two minutes.
leaving the park? two minutes.
say goodbye? two minutes. 

she's not saying NO to what happens next, just that she's not quite done with what's happening now. she wants a little more time.

today was a hard day.
(a cry on the phone with your best friend for 40 minutes kind of day.)

i wish i could say that the problems were mine.
i can fix my problems.
or control them.
or try to.
but they aren't. and they can't be.
and all i really can do is cry with (and for) the people i love who really had a hard day.

and when these hard days happen i want to press pause.
stop.
slow down.

i want to determine what happens. and when. and at what speed. because it seems to me that things are happening too fast. and everyone just needs a little more time. even if it's just two minutes.

so for stella's sake, and really all of ours, i'm praying for two minutes tonight.